It’s colder that I can ever remember

4496549-patriotic-barn-in-winterHey, Zelda here. I know I don’t need to say it because if you been outside today you know it anyhow, but it’s really, really cold.

I know people what live in Minnesota deal with these kinda temperatures ever winter, but we ain’t used to it here in North Cackalacky.

We had to run heat out to the barn for the girls (Flossie, Bessie and the hens), and a course, we still have to milk ’em, so the heater in the barn is good for us too.

We have about five days a wood stacked in the house, which should allow this dang polar vortex to pass.

Now, it seems global warmi’ shoulda taken care a all this cold, but it turns out climate change caused it to happen. I ain’t a scientist, but apparently, the warmin’ changed the jet stream and allowed the air from the North Pole to slide sideways till it covered the United States.

Now, I always thought a vortex was a kinda woo-woo thing down in Asheville what makes it such a interesting place, but this ain’t one a those kinda vortexes (Nell says the plural is vortices, but spell check puts a wavy red line under it).

Anyway, I can only hope that polar vortex don’t slip down too often. I hear Alaska’s warmer than here, and they’re used to this. Me and Nell had to put on three coats each to go out and milk the girls this mornin’, an Mother Cray don’t dare leave the house (if we’d let her, which we won’t).

But let me say, this don’t mean there’s no global warnin’, OK? Just cause it’s cold where we are don’t mean carbon levels aren’t risin’.  An as we continue to mess up the climate, we are gonna see worse, mark my words.

So if you was plannin’ on using the polar vortex to claim there ain’t global warmin’, don’t do it around me an Nell because we’ll call you out for bein’ stupid, which you are if you don’t “believe” in global warmin’. It ain’t like the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny, OK?

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